Oops, there you go!

Mense het 'n gewoonte om vir ons arme sielietjies wat so sukkel te se "Moet net nie daaroor dink nie, dan sal dit gebeur wanneer jy dit die minste verwag, jy sal sien" Dit volg ook gewoonlik met "My vriendin se broer se skoonsuster het... (bla bla bla) ... en toe word sy swanger, kan jy glo!" In plaas van om te se Ja, ek kan dit glo want ek het al amper 100 sulke stories gehoor, se ek maar net "haai regtig, wow dit is soos jy se." Daar is 'n hele chatroom oor "wat om nie te se nie" op die forum waaraan ek behoort, maar wat sal dit nou help? Dit is immers ons wat die probleem het daarmee, nie die arme vriende en familie wat tog net iets probeer se, want wat se jy nou na 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 jaar?


Ek kry vanmiddag so lekker lag soos ek in dr. Volschenk se spreekkamer sit, in afwagting om ons plan van aksie te hoor.  Ek lees 'n vrou, Beth Ditto se antwoord op haar suster se aanmerking: " My sister was like: "youre never going to have a baby if you think about it too much!" But I have to think about it. I can't just lay down and be like, oops, there you go!" Verbeel jou dit... no worries... oeps, there you go... en net so word mens swanger!


Ons stap toe aan na dr.V se spreekkamer.  Hy le die feite op die tafel... dit gebeur nie vir ons nie.  Ons is jonk, daar lyk nie te veel fout nie, maar tog kry ons dit nie eers met hulp reg nie.  Daar moet iets anders fout wees en die beste wat ons kan sien wat is fout, is om ivf te doen sodat ons 'n bietjie kan kyk wat gaan aan met daardie eierselletjies.  Ons kry 'n paar keuses... een of twee eierselletjies?? Een het 'n ?-50% kans om te werk, maar twee het ?-55% kans om te werk.  In die infertiliteits wereld is daardie 5% baie, so dit is iets om te oorweeg, maar in my ouderdomsgroep het ons 'n 47% kans dat dit 'n tweeling kan wees as ons wel swanger is... eks nie bang nie, maar sal nog met die baas(Johan) moet gesels oor daardie ene!?! Net soos hy oppad is om ons uit te stuur met besluite se Johan, "maar Els is nou by dag 1, en ivf moet jy op dag 2 begin, so kan ons nie sommer die maand wegval met ivf nie?" Oeps, there you go... ons doen ivf die maand! Ek kan dit amper nie glo nie... in 1 uur het ek van ekstase na vrees na stres na naar gegaan! Senou dit werk nie maar senou dit doen, en, en, en! 


So, om die lang storie kort te maak, nou moet ons hard bid vriendinne want hierdie storie kos GELD! Ek prys die Here ons het geld vir die een maar as dit nie werk nie, verloor ons alles en sal ons weer moet spaar vir nog een. Hou my asb in julle gedagtes want hierdie storie is nie maklik nie... ons sit met 'n pakkie instruksies... more weer scan om te sien of ons wel kan voortgaan met die ivf (daar mag geen sists wees, die baarmoeder wand moet heeltemal dun wees om mee te begin en, en, en ) Dan kry ons inspuitings en medikasies (wat Johan vir my moet inspuit elke dag) en die week volg met scans en scans.  Ons hoop dan om baie eierselle te kry sodat hulle genoeg kan kry om van te kies.  Die beste kwaliteit word gekies en gewas.  Die sperm monster word ook gewas en duisende word saam met die eierselletjies in 'n petri dish ingesit sodat die beste mannetjies steeds eerste kan wees.  Dit word dopgehou en na die selle ge-fertiliseer het en begin verdubbel, vat hulle die beste een/twee en dit word teruggeplaas in my baarmoeder.  Ek kan amper nie glo inplanting is al wat nodig is nie... selfs my hormone word tot uiterste spesifikasies beheer sodat alles perfek is. AL wat nodig is, is inplanting, en tog werk dit nie altyd nie, of 'n miskraam gebeur kort na dit gewerk het.  JULLE, bid asb!


Oops, here we go... hopelik is dit binnekort "oops, here we go en dan is ek swanger" of is dit dan "oops we did it again?"

Timing is the Father's business.

'n Wonderlike vriendin van my wat saam met my die moeilike pad van "wag" loop, lees vanoggend by die Bybelstudie vir ons 'n versie uit die Message. Om nou eers te verduidelik waaroor dit gaan; Ons is nou in Handelinge waar Lukas die storie vertel van Jesus se 40 dae op die aarde nadat hy opgestaan het. In hierdie versie se hy wat Jesus se laaste woorde was voordat hy opgevaar het. Die Apostels het Jesus gevra wanneer Hy die koninkryk aan Israel gaan herstel... "Is dit nou?" het hulle gevra. Hy antwoord hulle toe in Handelinge 1:7 "You don't get to know the time. Timing is the Father's business.  What you'll get is the Holy Spirit... "

Wow! Die Message stel dit darem so mooi en eenvoudig.  Tydsberekening is nie my besigheid nie, dit is die Vader se besigheid, maar Hy gee vir my die Heilige Gees om my te lei. Met ons volgende behandelings wat oppad is rondom volgende week sien ek weer vreeslik op daarna, en kan ek nie help om weer te twyfel of ek nou in God se pad vir Sy plan vir ons staan deur behandeling te kry nie.  Soms wonder ek steeds of God my nie reeds volkome sou genees het as Hy wou nie... en ek dink Hy sal as Hy wil, maar soms leer ons so baie uit die journey dat Hy ons nie wil ontneem daarvan om dag vir dag voor Sy voete te sit met die worsteling nie.

Ek herinner myself ook vandag wanneer ek so twyfel of ek die regte ding doen, aan Lea wat vir Ragel haar seun se "mandrakes" verkoop het sodat sy vanaand by Jakob kan gaan le... klink nogal soos 'n sepie, maar so verkeerd soos dit klink, dit het gebeur en Ragel het dit gedoen sodat sy die "mandrakes", wat bleikbaar talle doele gehad het, onder andere kon gebruik as fertiliteits-medisyne om te kan swanger raak.  En weet julle wat, later in daardie hoofstuk staan daar dat God haar onthou het, en Hy het haar 'n kind gegee. Ek herinner myself dat die mense al daardie tyd medisyne gebruik het, en God hulle nogsteeds geseen het.  Het sy in die plek gestaan van God se tyd vir haar? Nee. Sou sy swanger geword het as sy nie die medisyne gebruik het nie? Ek wonder? Hoe dit okal sy, God het haar hart gesien en Hy het haar onthou. Mag God my ook onthou, en ek weet Hy sal!

Wag-'n-bietjie-bos

Dikwels as ons in die wildtuin rondry, dan vang die wag-n-bietjie-bos my oog en dan begin ek weer dink... gewoonlik oor kinders, maar dikwels ook oor ander dinge wat ek soms wil laat gebeur voor dite tyd reg is. Die wag-'n-bietjie-bos het mos sulke haak-doringkies wat jou gryp as jy by hom verbystap om te se "Wag 'n bietjie... nie so gou nie.  Staan net eers bietjie stil en wees geduldig. Moenie so verby jaag nie!" As jy jouself losgemaak het van die haakies is jou klere dalk gahaak of selfs geskeur... dit is die prys van haastig wees.

Vandag kom ek in 'n bybelstudie af op 'n interressante ding... In Hebreeus is die woord "wag" die naaste aan hoop.  Dit is dieselfde woord wat ons as hoop gebruik, maw as jy dit in Engels of Afrikaans lees is dit Hope of Hoop, maar as jy dit vertaal in Hebreeus, is daardie woord ook Wag!!! Dit het my nogal laat dink aan hoop... want as jy nie meer hoop het nie, wag jy ook nie meer nie.  Jy gaan maar aan, en dikwels vinnig ook, om van die seer te vergeet, maar as jy so vinnig gaan, haak jou klere weer aan die wag-'n-bietjie-bos vas en dan kry in elkgeval seer!

Ek sal maar liewer wag... want ek het hoop, al is dit soms moeilik om aan vas te hou.

So van die os op die jas: Ek kom toe op nog iets af.
My vriendin Louise gee my 'n versie:
SPREUKE 30:15 Die bloedsuier het twee dogters: Gee, gee! Drie is dit wat nie versadig word nie; vier sê nooit: Genoeg nie! 16 die doderyk en die toegesluite moederskoot, die aarde wat nie genoeg water kry en die vuur wat nooit sê: Genoeg nie!
Net soos mense wat sukkel om iemand aan die dood af te staan (v16 die doderyk) is dit ook moeilik vir vroue wat sukkel om swanger te raak. Verseker nie dieslefde nie, maar steeds onversadig.  Dit was 'n ongelooflike verligting- die feit dat dit in die Bybel staan... God weet en verstaan hoe moeilik dit is en dit is ok. Ek het besef dat dit normaal is vir my om so 'n "unquenched thirst" te he vir 'n kleine babatjie. Die Bybel se dit sal so wees. En dit is so. Ek is 'n mens! En dit is ok.

 Ek het julle al voorheen vertel dat ek deel is van 'n forum waar daar baie vrouens is soos ek wat sukkel met infertiliteit.  Een van my kuber- vriendinne het hierdie op haar blog gepost en dit het my sommer weer geinspireer om weer te begin skryf... Ek is maar bra bang om dit te doen, want ek is bang as ek begin sal ek nie ophou nie en sal ek dalk soos 'n "hermit" raak wat nie meer normaal met mense kan kommunikeer nie... of dalk begin ek uitmekaar uit val en kan ek nie weer aanmekaar gesit word nie... maar ek dink ek sal dit probeer... een of ander tyd sal ek weer begin skryf! Hierdie verduidelik so 'n bietjie:

Die ding van seerkry…

Apr25

Daar is eintlik maar net twee maniere om Seerkry te hanteer - jy kan vir hom probeer weghardloop of jy kan deur hom werk. Instinktief kies ek eersgenoemde. Ek gryp vir Hoop aan die hand en begin hardloop om van Seerkry af weg te kom. Maar dit maak nie saak hoe vinnig ek hardloop nie, uit die hoek van my oog sien ek Seerkry hou by. Hy bly net naby genoeg om stukkies van Hoop, waaraan ek so desperaat klou, af te breek. Maar ek hardloop vinniger en voer Hoop vet met wonderwerk-stories van die internet, bemoedigende sms’e van familie en vriende en Bybelversies.

Maar Seerkry gee nie op nie en ruk later vir Hoop los. Ek hardloop terug huis toe en slaan die deur in Seerkry se gesig toe. Ek loer kort-kort, maar Seerkry bly voor die deur lê, hy gaan nêrens. Wel, dan bly ek net hier, besluit ek. Maar ek weet diep binne in my, die lewe gaan aan, en een of ander tyd moet ek weer by die deur uitgaan. En voor ek dit kan doen, sal ek deur Seerkry moet werk.

Maar die woorde kom nog nie verby die knop in my keel. So, ek begin my gevoelens op papier sit en stoot dit stukkie vir stukkie onder deur die deur na buite. En ek weet as ek alles uit het, sal Seerkry tevrede wees en wegbeweeg van die deur sodat ek kan uitgaan en die son weer op my gesig voel.

-Lee1

Natuurlik moet mens nooit hoop se hand los nie, maar mens voel soms, om nie seer te kry nie, dat jy hoop so bietjie moet nalaat - ek weet, ek weet, mens moenie maar dit is hoe jy voel. Ten spyte van die seerkry glimlag ons nog, so die lewe gaan aan, en daar sal nog baie seerkry wees, maar ons het mekaar en dit is al wat ons nou nodig het!

Ons recover lekker in die bos by die Addo Olifant Park

Na die stretch is dit weer terug na werk, nog 'n maand

om te gaan voor ons volgende behandelings... die rus 

doen ons werelde se goed!

Toe nou nie

Na nog scans en scans en vier verskillende medikasies het ek weereens 'n negatief. Ek moet sê dit voel soms of dit nooit gaan gebeur nie, maar oor die algemeen is ek positief en glo ek nog in wonderwerke... Bid asb vir my geloof, dat dit nie sal wankel nie en dat ek steeds in God se wil sal bly met Sy regte tyd vir my.

Van hier af gaan ons nou met Dr Volschenk gesels om te sien wat ons gaan doen van hier af. Dit mag dalk nog n tymed cycle wees soos die keer of ons mag dalk oorgaan na iui (intra uterine injection- waar hulle die sperm in die uterus in plaas dan moet hulle nog hul eie weg vind) of dalk ivf (in vitro fertilisation- waar hulle die sperm binne in die eiersel groei in 'n "petri- dish"), ons sal maar moet wag en sien. Dankie vir jul ondersteuning, dit beteken so onverklaarbaar baie vir my! Ons probeer weer volgende maand.

Liefde x

Tweede Scan

Die tweede scan op dag8 is agter die rug... Dit was 'n 5 uur ekspedisie vandat ek en Johan opgestaan het tot ons terug is by die werk so dit was baie uitputtend! Gewoonlik is dit korter as dit, maar die keer was daar ietsie wat nie lekker gelyk het nie, en toe moes ek eers vir bloedtoetse gaan. 
Die dr het my eierstokke gescan en toe het ons eers gedink daars fout want die een follikel was al 18mm, maar my baarmoeder wand was net 4,7mm ipv 8mm, maar na die estrogeen en progesteroon toetse het hulle bevestig dat daardie 'n "fake" follikel was en nie hormone dra nie, so ons is toe terug na 'n 11mm follikel wat ons gedink het nie veel is nie, maar hy stem ooreen met die 4,7mm baarmoeder wand, so dit beteken maar net dat allles bietjie stadig gegroei het. Ek het toe vandag twee Menopur inspuitings gekry (een vanoggend en een wat Johan more vir my moet inspuit) wat basies die follikels 'n kick-start gaan gee.  Ons scan weer Vrydag om te sien of dit genoeg gegroei het… dit moet tot by 18mm gaan voordat ons die Ovidrel inspuiting kan gebruik wat Ovulasie trigger. Ek laat weet Vrydag hoe dit gegaan het!  
Liefde

Timed Cycle begin

Uiteindelik na n skielike trip na Amerika het my siklus vroeg begin sodat ek nie te lank hoef te wag nie en kon ons begin met ons timed cycle.  Ek was gister saam met 'n wonderlike nuwe vriendin wat ook so lank soos ek al wag vir 'n klein wonderwerkie, wat aangebied het om saam met my te gaan na Vitalab toe.  Johan was in Duitsland, so hy kon nie saamgaan nie maar hy is darem nou weer veilig by die huis so dinge is aan die rol!!!  Ek dink my dosis is verdubbel van laaskeer want laas moes ek in die helfte van die siklus ander medisyne drink om die proses aan te help so ons sal maar sien... ek hoop ek maak darem weer twee follicles sodat my kanse weer dubbeld sal wees om swanger te wees, maw 40% ipv 20%.

Die vriendin wat gister saamgegaan het, het 'n wonderlike idee gehad om 'n wit babygrow te vat en die beloftes wat ons gekry het, of woord of enige iets wat mens wil, op dit te skryf as herinnering.  Ek wou dit al lankal doen, maar het vandag besluit as offisiële begin van my behandelings dat ek dit nou gaan doen, amper soos die lint wat mens knip wannneer 'n nuwe gebou ingewy word, of die skoot wat klap as jy 'n wedstryd begin, behalwe dat hierdie ook 'n herinnering sal wees in God se beloftes vir die dae wat ek twyfel en nie meer weet watter kant toe nie.  Ek sal dit sommer in ons kamer hang dat ek gereeld daarna kan kyk.

Die reënboog is 'n lang storie, maar kom daarop neer dat mense soms drome het van my wat swanger is of 'n baba het.  Soms is dit random mense wat nie eers geweet het ek probeer nie en selfs Johan se oupa wat roem daarin dat hy nie droom nie, het eenkeer gedroom ons het 'n tweeling.  Ek het eendag ervaar dat God vir my sê, elke keer as iemand droom ek is swanger, of dat ek kinders het, dit 'n teken sal wees, soos die reënboog.  Interressante ding is dat ek dit nog nooit self gedroom het nie, tot twee weke terug... toe droom ek vir die eerste keer dat ek 'n baba het! Die DREAMS aan die regterkant bo is ook 'n herinnering daaraan.

Die HEART wat links bo is, is 'n herinnering wat ek al 10 jaar terug aan myself gemaak het "I'll follow heart after You" met hart en siel en liggaam en gees, en die vraagteken wat doodgetrek is, is 'n nuwe byvoeging wat ek deesdae maak aan my vrae in my kop- "No questions asked!" Ek is moeg vrae gevra en die antwoorde maak ook nie meer nie saak nie, want God weet wat Hy doen... Hy is wie Hy sê Hy is en Hy kan doen wat Hy sê Hy kan, NO QUESTIONS ASKED! Here dankie dat ek weet U weet wat U doen en U het my best interest at heart!

Die name Elizabeth, Abraham & Sarah, Hannah, Rachel, Rebekah en Simson se ma is die vroue in die Bybel wat volgens die woord infertiel was maar na 'n gepleit by God is elkeen van hulle 'n kindjie of meer gegee. Abraham is by Sarah omdat hy ook 'n herinnering is aan die belofte dat ons kinders van Abraham is en val onder sy seëning.

Die versies is elkeen iets wat iets spesiaal vir my beteken of woord wat iemand vir my gegee het. Die middelste een "For nothing is impossible with God" is seker die eenvoudigste, maar iets wat dubbel en dwars belangrik vir my is.  Een dag sit ek en Johan in die kerk en voor die diens begin die pastoor bid vir vroue wat sukkel om swanger te word en hy nooi ons almal vorentoe.  Ek wou nie gaan nie, en loer Johan so van onder af soos 'n stout kind, maar hy por my toe aan en daar gaat ek. Die pastoor bid (daar was seker 10 vrouens!) en ek loop toe terug.  Toe ek gaan sit, tik 'n oom my van agter af en punt met sy vinger na 'n versie, maar net daar ys ek, want die oom lyk toe op n druppel soos Johan se oupa Corrie wat net 'n paar maande voor dit oorlede is (Johan het dit ook gedink). Die oom se maniertjies was ook dieselfde, hy sê niks, hy wys net met sy vinger.  Ek sê toe dankie en ons klim na die tyd in die kar oppad huistoe en Johan sê vir my: "Maar wat is dit met ons Oupas en die tweeling ding?" (Want sy Oupa Johan het mos gedroom) Ek sê : "Hoe nou?" Hy sê toe dat hy gelees het daar staan iets van tweelinge.  Ek sê hom toe dat ek gelees het daar staan "For nothing is impossible with God."  Maar hy staan toe vas by wat hy gesien het.  Na die tyd gaan slaan ek toe na, oral waar die "impossible" versies is, maar nêrens kon ek iets van tweelinge bo of onder dit kry nie, so ek glo tot vandag toe dat Johan dit gesien het in sy geestesoog.  Of ons nou 'n tweeling sal hê, en of dit net 'n dubbele seëning sal wees soos in Jes 61:7 wat ek ook op 'n ander stadium ontvang het, weet ek nie, maar 2 is definitief relevant in ons storie en ek sal nog uitvind hoekom, want ons gaan nog 'n baba hê en dan sal ek sien! (Jes 61:7 "Instead of your shame, you will have a double portion. Everlasting joy will be yours")

Die beste van alles is, dat hulle so 'n jaar later daardie 'brood' kaartjies uitdeel met die versies op in die kerk, en sê toe dat dit 'n bedienings geleentyd is, en dat as die kaartjie jou aan iemand laat dink, moet jy dit vir daardie persoon gee. Glo dit of nie, maar net daar staan daar 'n vreemde vrou voor my en gee vir my die kaartjie, en wat staan daarop... For nothing is impossible with God! Dit was 'n teken en 'n herinnering dat ek daardie woord moet ernstig opvat! En agter op daardie kaartjie, toe ek hom omdraai staan Joh 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to You." Dit het my ook laat besef ek hoef nie bekommerd te wees nie en ek hoef nie meer te dink wat ek alles kan doen nie.  Ek kan doen wat ek wil, maar in geloof want Hy gaan my kom ontmoet daarin.

So dit is basies wat in my lewe aangaan op die oomlik. Exiting stuff!!!  Ek is so opgewonde our die pad wat God met ons gaan stap en ek weet ek gaan nie teleurgesteld wees nie, want ek vertrou Hom. Ek vertrou Hom met alles in my!

Dankie vir julle gebede wat so besonders kosbaar vir my is. Vrede is al wat ek soek, en dit is wat ek nou het en ek glo jul gebede het aandeel hierin.
Tot volgende keer!

Fertility Funnies en al die Boepe

Partykeer moet mens grappies maak om die paadjie 'n bietjie makliker te maak... nou ja ek weet die vorige post was ook grappies, maar ek het deesdae so bietjie meer grappies as gewoonlik nodig ;)

Hie hie hie, mens moet maar 'n sport wees.  Dit gaan oor die algemeen baie goed met my, ek is nog gemotiveerd, positief en gereed vir aksie... 

Ek het onlangs tot 'n besef gekom dat ek 'n attitude verandering sal moet maak.  Ek het in hierdie afgelope 5 jaar so negatief begin raak en begin dink dat my beurt nooit sal kom nie.  Ek het selfs sover gegaan om almal op Facebook te Hide op my Newsfeed wat te veel foto's post van hul baba's of wat te veel updates maak oor hoeveel weke hulle swanger is, of wat elke dag post oor watter snaakse ding hul kind nou weer gepost het... ek was suur oor enigeiets wat my herinner het aan my gebrek en dit het gevreet aan my!  Dit is baie moeilik om dit te verduidelik aan iemand wat nog nie daardeur is nie, maar jy voel 'n permanente gevoel van verlies wat net nog meer opgewakker word deur gelukkige ouers en kinders. Ek het op 'n stadium wanneer ek my Facebook oopmaak by myself gedink :"Toe kom nou, post asb iets van jou kind sodat ek jou kan hide, kom kom kom..." Natuurlik het my Newsfeed baie boring geraak want ek het baie minder posts begin sien.  Ek het so 10% van my vriende ge-hide en toe nou een dag maak ek weer my Newsfeed oop en glo dit of nie, 50% van my oorblywende vriende- die mammas wat ek gelos het op my Newsfeed omdat ek nog belang stel in wat hulle kinders doen en hoe dit met hul gaan, post daardie dag net hoe min hulle slaap, watter tand wie gewissel het, wie finally nie meer huil as hul skool toe gaan nie, en dan is daar natuurlik al die fotos... die duisende babafoto's... ALMAL is of was al swanger of is alweer swanger. Jip, dit is hoe dit sal gebeur, 50% van my oorblywende vriende!  

Toe ek daardie dag smoor kwaad raak en weer begin hide, besef ek wat die probleem is... EK.  

Wie sou nou ooit kon raai? Ek het altyd gedink as almal soos ek is sal die wereld 'n beter plek wees ;)
Ek het besef dit is ook wat gebeur het deur die jare... die rede hoekom menigte goeie vriendinne nooit vir my gese het hulle is alweer swanger nie en ek dit by ander vriendinne moes uitvind of op Facebook lees of die boep sien... want ek is sensitief daaroor en ek dink mense sense dit soos 'n hond wat vrees sense. Ek het besef ek sal my attitude MOET verander want hulle gaan altyd daar wees... hulle is oral - Prams in die strate, boepe by die Ginekoloog, boepe in die ry by Pick & Pay en boepe op Facebook. Boepe all over the place en daar is niks wat ek daaraan kan doen nie, dit gaan altyd so wees en dit gaan my altyd seermaak tot ek my attitude verander.  

SO ek het 'n nuwe attitude. Vandaar ook die Baba-laai soos genoem in my vorige post.  Ek embrace nou al die boepe en die fotos en die kla oor die laat nagte want my beurt kom... ek gaan 'n baba he al weet ek nie wanneer nie.  Net omdat ek nou alreeds my baba wou he beteken dit nie dit is die beste tyd vir my nie en ek mors kosbare tyd as ek net op dit fokus.  Die lewe gaan aan en dit help nie om verlore te raak in dit wat kon wees nie, want voor jy jou oe oopmaak is 5 jaar verby en kon jy al baie ander dinge gedoen het in daardie tyd... die lewe gaan aan en ek gaan 'n baba he want ek glo in die krag van God en in Sy beloftes soos aan Abraham belowe is. Ek is 'n kind van God en daarom val ek onder die beloftes wat aan Abraham belowe is, so ek sal vrugtevol wees.  

Gen 15:5 "Look up at the heavens and count the stars -- if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

Gal 3: ⁷ Understand, then, that those who have faith are children of Abraham. ⁸ Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: “All nations will be blessed through you.” ⁹ So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.

Ps. die positiwiteit is 'n dag-vir-dag ding so moenie my judge as jy my op 'n slegte dag vang nie...

...Ek gaan 'n baba he jaay!


Gebede vir die week:
Bid asb dat my siklus normaal sal wees die maand en nie weer 'n abnormale 60 dae sal haal nie, want ek weet nie of ek nog 'n maand sal kan wag om te begin met my behandelings nie... ek is positief maar nie so positief nie!  Ek is nie seker of ek dan nog braaf genoeg sal wees nie.  Iewers oor die naweek is my siklus veronderstel om te begin en dan is ek veronderstel om Maandag te begin met my scans en inspuitings.  Ek is opgewonde en bang terselfdetyd, want daar is die moontlikheid dat dit kan werk, maar ook die realistiese 70% kans dat dit nie sal werk nie en dan is daar die vrees van teleurstelling en die hoop en alles so saam in 'n cocktail van my emosies.... onderliggend aan die positiwiteit natuurlik!
So, vir nou- bid dat my siklus begin die naweek en bid dan natuurlik dat die 30% odds aan my kant sal wees en dat ek dit nie weer hoef te doen nie.... ek het dit reeds eenkeer gedoen en sommer 'n jaar afgevat daarna... so derdens, bid dat ek die moed sal he om aan te gaan as dit nie werk nie... nee, moenie daarvoor bid nie... bid dat dit die eerste keer werk... ja, dit!


Ek gaan 'n baba he jaay!

'n Baba-laai

Hallo almal!  Dit gaan al baie beter met my, daar is helwat minder pyn- nog net my maag wat baie opgeblaas is maar dit vat blykbaar maar 'n rukkie om reg te kom!  Ek was 'n paar dae in die bed en kon nie anders as in 45Grade posisie slaap nie so dit was baie ongemaklik en ek het min geslaap, maar dit is darem nou baie beter en die steke is ook al uit.


Ek is so opgewonde oor ons pad wat voorle, want ek weet daar is nog so baie goeie goed wat moet kom... So 'n rukkie terug het een van my vriendinne wat ook gesukkel het om swanger te raak, besluit om 'n baba- laai te maak in haar huis vir al die goedjies wat sy begeer het om te koop vir haar toekomstige baba.  Dit het haar baie gehelp om die hoop tasbaar te maak... so ietsie waarna mens kan gaan kyk elke nou en dan as jy wil moed opgee.  En dan maak dit ook nie so 'n groot storie van die feit dat mens net sooo graag ietsie wil koop nou en dan nie.  As jy nou wel oulike booties of iets sien, dan mag jy dit koop vir die laai... want kind sal ek he, maak nie saak op watter manier nie.  Dit is amper 'n gesonde manier om van die opgeboude emosies ontslae te raak- mens kan uiting gee aan jou behoeftes.  So toe het ek ook vandag begin... hier is my eerste aankoop :)

Tesame met dit het ek die vrede van God in my hart!  Ek voel net so positief en gereed vir die ding.  Ek was baie bang dat ek myself gaan toelaat om seer te kry as ek te veel hoop het, maar toe onthou ek een van die mans wat op 'n forum is waaraan ek behoort.  Hierdie gaan nou lank wees, maar verskoon tog, dit is elke woord werd!  Ek het nogal sy stories gevolg, want daar is maar so once in a blue moon 'n man op, maar die een was nie skaam nie en hy wou PRAAT daaroor!  Hy het die snaakste ervaringe gehad tydens sy journey wat hy op die forum gepost het wat ek nou eers met jul wil deel voor ek sy wonderwerk met jul deel.  Ek quote hier sy Most embarrassing moments terwyl hy en sy vrou TTC (Try To Conceive): Ps verskoon asb want hy is baie reguit en het hier en daar 'n kras woordje gebruik ;)  :

Most embarrassing moment 1


"Well here we go, all us guys know what the inside of a donating room looks like, well I have been in a few different ones in JHB and in Potch. JHB had nice pictures on the wall, a fancy Computer with umm... u know pretty pics and videos lets call them videos of stars and flowers as in the old 1980 Playboy Mags  All the tools you need, nice and spacious and pretty comfy. Now Potch, went to 2 in potch, both a single toilet, yes toilet. Now on my very first deposit if you can call it that, I had been given a small cup and a box of tissues and told to not miss the cup and use no lube or anything. Upon entering the toilet cubicle I smelt what could have only been a man with a very up set stomach who had beans dipped in curry the night before, it ponged in there. I am now very concious that this smell is not going to disapprear and the brown marks on the floor around the toilet were enough evidence that the nurse did not have the same discussion about missing the cup with this gentleman. Now I was grossed out completely and thought so many times of just leaving the lad and returning on a different day. Well being the good husband I am and realizing that we need the speciman as soon as possible I pushed through, I must have battled for 45 mins to get the sample into the stupid little cup, not because they make those damn cups so small and inconvenient but because I could not muster up any turn ons or thoughts in that smell and mess. The worst part is I eventually finnished collecting and started to freshen up which by then I needed because it felt like I was at sewge works, I accidentally spilt water from the tiny basin they had, which I think was only there in case they had Elves visiting, all over my pants in the crotch area, now this looked horrible, I was just trying to dry this when the nurse kept banging on the door saying that I can come back another day if I wanted as they had other clients waiting. By then I was holding this little cup in one hand, my pants all wet from the basin, the smell never let up and poo all over the floor. I braved up and walked out, handed the cup to the nurse, everyone obviously looks down there when they know what you have done in there to see if they can see some sort of bump, guess that is human nature  and automatically saw the water marks. Another nurse took the next gentleman to the same little toilet cubicle and with a loud cry said, heavens no, Doloris kom maak hier skoon, which mean come and clean this mess for those who do not understand Afrikaans. They all looked at me, patients, nurses even my wife, when Doloris got there I just got a glare, shake of the head and a click of the tounge, mop in hand she started cleaning. Now I can only imagine what the other 7 or so patients sitting there must have thought. Anyway I explained the story to my wife when we walked out the door and she hosed herself with laughter, she didnt stop, I asked why she was laughing so much and she said look at your shoe, yes the dreded old toilet paper stuck to the shoe, my gosh, you know what I there and then almost popped with embarassment. Well there we go, story number one, I will post weekly with a few others, not sure why all the embarassing things happen to me but hey atleast it's funny, hahahahaha."


Most embarrassing moment 2

"You all know by now that I have a bilateral Varicocele right.... Well how did they find out? By doing the whole Sonar scan thing. Now Fertility Clinics are one thing, they know what to expect, xray rooms a whole different story. First they tell me to undress and put on a very womanly dress that suppose to cover your entire body, now being 1.9m tall the dress was a tad short especially if you have things danggeling between your legs  I then has to sit on a cold steel chair waiting for the doctors who would be doing the scan, my beautiful wife next to me, she always comes with everywhere, shame she is so wonderful, anyway sat there in Winter with a cold breeze blowing under the gown with all hanging free, sat for about 1 hour, after had to have a scan done on my xmas decorations (can only call them that as they are not currently doing their job) There was definate feeling and cupping for some time by a member of the same sex which I can pretty much say was my first homosexual experience, he must have enjoyed it as he played for a good part of 10 mins. Then he put cold gel on them and started moving the sonar all over them (no I swear I did not get arroused in case you were thinking the story would go that way, did get a little bigger if I had to be honest but I think it was warmer in the Sonar Room so....) would have been funny as hell though if it did  then came time to move it left and right and up and down and my gosh please end, well it didnt. He then asked for a 2nd opinion calling in another very embarrassed gentleman, picture this 2 men staring and feeling my sack which I stand there but naked holding the sonar gun for them....... embarassing as hell, my wife just smiling and looking as beautiful as ever tried her best not to burst out laughing but the worst came when they asked me to blow as hard as I could into my hand to see the blood flow on the sonar, cheeks puffed and queeving noices coming from the pressure on my hand against my mouth, one foot up on the bed, the other hand holding my member up, doctor with gun on sack, both doctors looking down at that area and wife red and holding in laughter..... BAM in walks a young nurse to speak to the one doctor and thats what she sees. You can imagine the walk out of there, thanks again to you all and hope to see many more stories, please feel sorry for me "

Most embarrassing moment 3

"You all know now that I needed to go in for a Varicocelectomy, just to explain this is a procedure where they block off the veins running to a mans happy sack and then remove the nuisance veins. Now starting from enterance into the hospital with my Darling Wife and Parents....... We arrived at reception, the young lady at the counter asked who my Dr was and what I was there for, I replied a Varicocelectomy. With an extremely confused look on her face and a very full reception she asked what it was? (I presume not knowing how embarassing it was for me to talk about) As I was about to explain it quietly to her and her alone, a huge fat woman in the back shouted "Hulle gaan op sy ballas opereer want hulle werk nie so lekker nie." I mean come on. The people in the reception tried their absolute best not to look down there and laugh while I was walking back to my seat but I guess you can't help looking there if you know what I mean, its kinda like when someone has an amputated arm, you cant stop looking at it even though you know you shouldn't and you mean no disrespect by looking. I then got a few scaley smiles and winks from two witty old ladies sitting next to me. After about 10 mins when they said I can follow the large nurse to my ward room, we got up and just before leaving the one old lady put her hand on my arm and said "Sterkte" which was then followed by a room that decided collectively that it was all of a sudden funny to laugh at the poor man having his balls operated on 

I then went into my ward room and met 2 old men which were staying in the same ward room as mine, we all had the same doctor and becuase Urology is usually for older peoples bladders faulty working parts (no disrespect) it was strange to see such a young guy in this ward room. The nurses kept laughing at the fact that I was there with these to men and the two old ballies kept mocking this young healthy looking man saying that I dont need to go through such extremes to gain attention from my parents, a mere bump of the head would be sufficient enough, can u believe. Anyway they then started asking me what I was in for and again I knew what was coming, I tried explaining in the whole thing in the easiest way possible but all they heard was balls, balls, balls.... I didnt take offence to the laughter that came with it and the two old man batteling to breathe as they kept repeating the word balls. It didnt take long and one of the nurses entered to ask us what we would like for supper the one very bright old man excitedly shouted MEAT BALLS.... they absolute bursted into laughter and forgot all about the reason why they were there in the first place, now me worried about these 2 golden oldies having heart attacks I calmed the situation down by saying that I would just like a bottle of water please upon leaving the nurse standing next to the door with now an audience of 3 other nurses because of the comossion asked if we would like anything else with the meat balls? The other wise old man sitting crouched on the bed cleaning the tears off of his coke bottle glasses cleaverly chirped up and said CHUTNEY PLEASE.... MRS BALLS CHUTNEY  OMW..... I started going red with embarassment and hid my face behind my wife who tried her best not to laugh but it was just too funny and joined in on the laughter which could be heard through out the entire ward B. My only comfort at this point was my sexy wife hiding me away and holding my sweaty had and the comforting smiles from my parents that were probably thinking how proud they were of their sons famous Balls. It was now official my nickname for the rest of the time in hospital was now MRS BALLS, how lovely...... dont you think? And everytime a new nurse asked why, it was followed by the explanation and yes... more laughter. "

Most embarrassing moment 4

"Now going back to the second story about the whole Sonar debacle, once Varicoceles were detected we had to see the urologist again. Just for interest sake, I had Bilateral Varicoceles which means in both Testes, most Varicoceles are only on the left, usually if on the right hand side that is an indication of Cancer. So bring on the Cancer scanner machine, not sure what they call it again  Same thing once again, needed to get dressed into one of those stupid gowns which hang just above the knee and anything danggeling under it smacks the front of the dress like it's trying to escape or something, proving that men were not made to wear dresses. However this time I didnt know that I should leave me briefs on, so....... here we go. Again the long wait in the passage of embarassment, in the cold, no support for the jewls, nice draft up me backside and everyone wondering what I am doing there. Next up they call me to come and take the scan, so I slowly stumbled toward the Cancer room holding down my dress in the breeze. Wife was not allowed in so I was told to wait inside for the operator. Now you must understand, I had now been for xrays (dont ask me why the hell the doc wanted xrays of my nuts), I had been for a sonar scan (second story in case you might have forgot) and quite a few physical exams of that very precious area. The process always the same, enter the room, take off the stupid dress, lie down on the bed and wait for the Doc, simple right. WRONG.... I have never and I mean never heard anyone scream as loud as this woman did when she walked in and there I was lying butt naked on her cancer machine, now picture this, anyone who has ever been on one, it knida resembles the bed you lie on when you go see the Gyne, legs in those support things (wide open) arms down to the side and head tilted way back, almost looks like you are a dead turkey and about to be sacrificed. Now I'm sure she has seen woman in that position before but picture a guy lying with his legs wide open, butt naked and at an angle that only your toilet seat should see you in... ( enter the scream ) So I quickly jumped off as embarassed as hell, put back on the stupid gown and got back on the bed. I then heard a slient "are you decent?" Now how the hell do you answer that question when that person has seen you, a married man in that position  She came back in and started preping me for the scan, I kept apologising but she kept saying she never saw anything, she was lying of coarse because I could still see the inprint my nuts left in her eye balls. However we pushed through like professionals and proceeded with the scan. The bed was so comfy and relaxing that at times I half fell asleep, the vibrating of the machine going from head to toe over my body also fealt so invigorating and the chair with its tilting action made it feel like I was on a cloud. The angle of the bed almost resembled a pyrimid, so your head and feet are lower than your abdomen. After about 3 scans and a few repeated ones it was over, she came out of her little room and when she got to me to help me off of the bed, um lets just say my dress had turned into a tent (I swear a family could camp under there). Now I dont know if it was the vibrating of the machine and the comfortable bed or what it was but I honestly never realized it, in fact I only realised it when I tried getting up from that arkward position, I must say one thing, I think the angle at which I was lying did make it look a whole lot worse and kinda complimented my size in a way  Well now totally embarassed and one incident away from a sexual harassment law suite, I left the room with the stupid dress still showing a huge..... ok, big......ok ok, little bump, fortunately for me my wife was standing right outside the room, obviously worried after hearing the scream earlier but the lucky nurse woman did ensure that everything was fine before she came in the 2nd time. She walked infront of me all the way to the change rooms, blocking the view which was my tent. Now you can imagine how this looked to her but fortunately being the loving and trusting wife that she is, she simply just giggled and said, "as long as you enjoyed yourself my dear" making me even more embarassed. So what does this story prove.....? I think for all us guys out there it proves that just because your eggs are slightly scrambled and dont work so well, doesnt mean your sausage doesnt work either  "

Most embarrassing moment 5

"Just a quick little one..... You all know my wife and I went for Sperm Freezing last week Thursday right? No, not another one of those horrible toilet stories. Anyway we went and I did what I had to, again like the darling Husband I am, taking one for the team 
Well anyway, job done and explanation given. We were told to come back as many times as we can to give more swimmers, so yes the cup has officially joined our lives and will have to include him in future family potraits  So anyway... getting back to the story, just before we left, my DW approached the reception counter and asked the young lady in Afrikaans (being in Pretoria) "so waneer kan my man weer kom?" Now immediately I picked up on the Pun and started laughing, a 2nd lady that had come out from the back could also not hold it in and she started laughing, my wife and the reception lady were left at the counter puzzled. The reception lady obviously didn't click that there was an error in my wifes words and can you believe... said, "enige tyd maar hy moet net vir 2 dae nie kla maak nie, voor sy volgende kuier." My wife confused, clicked all of a sudden when she saw me and the 2nd lady laughing. Shame she tried to correct the lady at the counter but there was no turning back, so we left the room red faced but in a very happy mood atleast, well I was anyway, and no not because of what I had just done (you dirty minded people)  I must say we heard a huge roar of laughter come from the clinic when we were half way down the passage and I presume the counter lady was told her blonde moment. My wife also well aware of hers (most amazing thing, they were both brunettes) started walking faster and faster to escape the embarrasment. Anyway there's a nice embarassing story from my wifes side, sure she will kill me when she reads this tonight but hey I have taken enough punishment for one week, don't you think? "

Shame... die arme man het "way" meer deurgemaak as wat enige man veronderstel is om te! Daar was nog so baie ander embarrasing moments wat van die ander dames ge post het, maar syne was net so vrek snaaks!   Maar een dag het sy embarrasing moments geeindig met hierdie amazing storie (net jammer Hy besef nie wie het regtig sy miracle veroorsaak nie):

Sy wonderwerk:


"Hi Everyone,

You will not believe me, my wife is pregnant naturally with my child, my very own child.
We were scheduled to do an IVF with ICSI in Jan but guess that will not be necessary anymore.

I would like to tell you the story of how this happened and would really like you all to take something from this. I am not saying for one second that this will work for everyone but I do believe strongly that in life we control our own destinies and the power of positive thinking is what guides us in life.

Please again I am not trying to preach or to brag, would just really like to help even if it only helps in some way in your lives.

Well here goes.

You all know I had been for the varicocelectomy and results after that looked abysmal, since then they said I could have testicular failure because my count had fallen from 6 mil to 2 mil to 1mil and then to 70000. I then did freezing and planned for the IVF with ICSI in January.

To get back to the miracle (positive thinking) part......

I woke up one morning in October and decided you know what, I am tired, I am tired of battling, I am tired of living with this pain. We have been through the most difficult and most embarrassing times of our lives (you know all about that by now) and were about to face even tougher times. It was not only the strain of the financial implications (we are relatively well off and it was still implication) or what we had already been through to get no where. It was what I saw everyday when I looked into my wifes eyes, I could literally see her breaking heart and could see her dreams, wishes and faith fading away as the happiness was driven right out of her. I decided then and there that I was going to force my own way and take control of my life and excuse the language but "F$%K this.

I started believing my wife was pregnant, I went to bed every night saying... my wife is pregnant, there is nothing wrong and I am very happy, I woke up every morning saying the same thing and not only saying it but I believed it. I then spoke to her as if she were pregnant, I kept saying hows the baby doing and treated her as if she were pregnant. It was tough for her at times because she felt it was hurtful what I was doing, I then told her to please believe with me and just keep thinking, I am pregnant and am happy. We then role played this everyday and went to bed every night saying good night to our baby and good morning when we woke up. We literally started believing that she was pregnant, we sometimes forgot that she was not. And then when my wife asked my questions about what are we going to do in Jan with the IVF and how what happens if it doesn't work, I said to her, Honey you are already pregnant and we will not need to go in Jan. She wanted to kill me at times because she wanted to have a serious conversation about things but I kept my faith and kept telling her, you are pregnant, just please trust me, you are pregnant. This carried on for a month, we went as far as to buy her pregnancy pills and stuff, like Mum omega and other things, she bought a few cheap things like baby boots and stuff to keep the feeling real.

The key thing is.... this is not a Jesus miracle story, we still had to do the nasty  so I took a huge interest into when she was ovulating and made sure that 2 days before and on the exact day we did the job and it sounds weird but mentally pictured my sperm swimming to her egg as I (blew off the lid) while we were busy I kept believing this is it, fatherhood here we come and never once doubted that she would be pregnant.

I then again kept telling her, you are pregnant, we continued with this and totally forgot about IVF, Infertility and everything else. We picked baby names, we pondered the height, eye colour and hair colour of our baby to be and most importantly I had convinced my wife after a month that maybe just maybe she could be. Now we had been battling for 2 years and I had results that the doctors wanted to give me sympathy gift baskets for. But I kept on saying, my wife is pregnant, I am so happy and all is wonderful.

Time came for periods and wait there ain't any, I kept saying, don't even look it ain't coming, you are pregnant, she doubted me a few times and at one stage wanted to waiver a bet which would have had her washing her mouth out with Listerine and toilet cleaner but I refused to let her humiliate herself and said, you are pregnant, trust me, you are pregnant.

After being almost 2 weeks late she wanted to take a pregnancy test, I told her it is not necessary, I told you a month ago already you are pregnant, we don't need to take one. She went behind my back  yesterday and took one. Guess what......... She was pregnant, she was shaking, she was crying, she was absolutely floored with joy, I have never in my life seen anyone as happy as what she was but most importantly... She was PREGNANT. I calmly hugged her, kissed her and said see, I told you, you are pregnant. I was of course over joyed and bubbling inside but I must say I was not surprised, I guess after a month of convincing yourself that something is true, when it eventually is you don't find it as hard to believe. She then drew blood and it was confirmed an hour later that she had a little miracle growing inside of her.

We contacted everyone we knew and broke the news, it was so emotional and everyone kept asking me, how did you know, it is impossible, you cannot predict something like that so soon, I simply just replied..... I believed.

The doctors could not believe it when we contacted them, they said we do not know how lucky we are that with the results we had, it must be like a 3% chance to work but you know what, there was a chance.

My logic was that you only need 1 sperm to do the job and if I can just get 1 sperm to get through it would be enough, I mean I had 70000, so I am sure just one lazy sperm could do me a favour. I silently spoke to them in my mind saying, make me proud and do your job and looks like one was listening.

The moral of the story is just don't ever give up hope and believe that it can happen. Positive thinking is so powerful and when you believe in what you want you will get it even if it is not exactly the way you planned, it will happen. I am still and Infertile but have a happy story to share because of this, it did not magically change my results or my condition but you know what, I didn't need to.
I don't believe that thinking positively about flying will make you grow wings so that you can fly but I do believe that thinking positively could make you afford a plain so that you can fly.

I hope this story helps in some kind of way and I urge you to try this, this is an actual true life story that has worked for me and believe truly that it can work for you, we all have nothing to loose and to try something is worth it. Keep believing and never give up faith, it might not happen naturally, it might not even happen with an ART but trust me it will happen, if you believe, life will find away to make it happen.

Thanks again for reading and hope this story inspires you to achieve your miracles, I will be believing with all of you to, so goes the saying 2 heads are better than 1. I guess in Infertility that would not stand to reason and that would rather be called a 3 way  haha, sorry had to add a bit of humour in there.

Stay well, keep your bed rocking and lets see those BFP's coming fast and furious."




So, om 'n lang storie tot 'n punt te bring... hierdie storie het my herinner hoe groot God is en hoe belangrik dit is om te glo... om hoop te he en om vas te hou aan Sy beloftes.  Dankie weereens vir jul ondersteuning, dit is vir my wonderlik om te weet julle bid vir my .... waar vroue bid, gebeur daar dinge ek se julle- my wonderwerk is oppad!

Laparoskopie en Histeroskopie gedoen!

Meeste van julle weet nou al by die tyd dat ek gister (Dinsdag 31ste Feb) vir my Laparoskopie en Histeroskopie gegaan het.  Dit was toe baie goeie nuus! Ek het net 'n klein bietjie endometriose gehad wat die dokter weggesny het, so nou is alles mooi oop en skoon en gereed om 'n babatjie te ontvang!  Ons sal dan nou volgende maand (of dalk einde Feb afhangende van my siklus) begin met "Timed Cycles" wat nie so erg duur is soos die ander prosedures nie.  Dr se ons kan eers dit so 5 keer probeer voor ons iui toe aanbeweeg (waar hulle die sperm in die baarmoeder inspuit) so ek sit my hoop op die Timed Cycles.

Wat nou gaan gebeur basies is dat ek nog steeds al die medikasie gaan kry om eier selle te vorm.  Elke tweede dag word ek ook gescan om te monitor hoeveel eiers ek kry ens en dan kry ek voor ovulasie 'n trigger shot wat my eiers presies 36 uur later vrystel (ovulasie), so dan kan ons ons dinge volgens dit beplan.

Ek moet ook nie nalaat om julle te vertel hoe God gesorg het vir die geld nie!  Ons moes die een helfte Maandag betaal en die ander helfte dinsdag en alles het net so mooi uitgewerk dat ons dit net - net gemaak het!  Prys my Liefste Vader!!!

Verder is ek maar nog lekker seer... sal blykbaar so aanhou tot Don en hier by Vrydag kom my steke uit en sal ek al beter voel.  Die snye is nie meer te seer nie (daar is 3 snye) want ek is op sterk medikasie, maar die steek pyne in my skouers en bors is nogal erg- voel of mens 'n hartaanval gaan kry, maar dit is baie normaal- meeste mense kry dit agv al die gas wat hulle in jou maag pomp om binne te kan sien. Hulle se daars nog so 1liter vloeistof in my maag, maar ek dink daar is meer want ek weeg 2kg meer!
Toe ek uit die teater kom was ek baie seer en het begin huil en sukkel om asem te haal, en al hoe meer paniekerig begin raak.  Daar is toe 'n suster wat se ek werk myself op ek moet nou kalm raak... ek vloek haar in my kop, maar toe voel ek 'n ander hand wat my soos 'n katjie streel op my skouer.  Dalk was dit 'n ander nurse, maar ek wil glo dit was 'n engel, want dit het my onmiddelik gekalmeer en ek het onmiddelik beter begin asem haal!

SOOO, exiting stuff... ek hoop julle is so opgewonde soos ek, want ek is gereed vir aksie!  Bid asb dat my hart bewaar sal word en dat ek die krag sal he om aan te gaan met die ding al werk dit nie die eerste of die tweede of die derde maand nie!

Wees geseend!
Liefde