Ladies, you wont believe this, there was a misunderstanding between the radiologists! I asked the secretary to ask the dr to phone me back to explain the procedure and what exactly do they mean by the results are inconclusive. I tried not to stress, but had some worries over it this weekend. So the dr phoned me back almost instantly saying that he is so sorry there was a misunderstanding between the radiologists, there is no need to operate! He says that it might be from a previous injury from contact sports, and that i just have to go back for another ultrasound so they can make sure!
Praise God, this is what i prayed for, that something would happen so they wont have to operate :))))))))) Now i can go on with the fun life i have planned for 2011, and if theres no fun, come what may i will praise You in the storm!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Second last post for 2011!
Okay, you wont believe how things changed since I last posted! After I found out last month that pcos is my only problem, i realized that there is definitely still hope. My only problem is that i don't ovulate, and ovulation can be induced, so i feel like i am still young and i still have some time.
The past 3 years and 9 months made me so tired and stressed out that i felt like i needed some time off. For 3 years and 9 months i had to look at what i eat, cut out on alcohol, not eat sushi at the time of the month when i could be pregnant, and not drink flu medicine if i am sick. Now i feel like i want my body back for a while, and just be. I just want to enjoy the time with Johan while i still have it!
Then, like they were sent from above, friends of ours gave us a huge gift! Nadia works for SAA and organized for us to fly for 20% of the ticket fee for a whole year! She and her husband wants us to travel all over the world with them to 6 destinations this year! Praise God for Nadia and Cobus!!!
Now obviously i cant do that while pregnant, so Johan and I made the best decision since we started to TTC.... We are taking the year off to love each other en enjoy ourselves and see the world! I know it may come as a shock to you after all i posted, but we think its just the right time! We know now we still have time and we are so sick and tired of trying and we are so young, we have to enjoy the time we have! I have given up on having children when i am very young long ago, so now i will just have children when I'm just young :)
I cant describe to you how I feel about this, it feels like i have the weight off my shoulders. Now that i know nothing else is wrong, i don't stress about having children anymore, i KNOW we will have them and hopefully at the right time.
SO, for now i am enjoying life (probably for the first time) and focusing on weight loss for the year, so my body will be ready when we are ready to start trying again in 2012.
So that is that... SURPRISE!!!
A bit of bad news...
I found a lump in my breast about two months ago and gave it two months to see if it would go away. When it didn't go away, i was sent for a breast ultra sound by my Gynecologist. When they did the u/s, they said that i would have to do a mammogram, cause it looked a bit suspicious. They did the mammogram and said that they would have to do a biopsy cause it didn't look good! I was in agony this whole week, cause their machine that does the biopsy broke due to lightning, so i had to wait from Monday to Saturday morning to get my results. My results came out inconclusive, so I am going to have surgery to remove the lump and send it in for some more testing. We will do that when we come back from McGregor after the 23rd.
So, this was all a big shock to me - and also a reason why i made the decision to enjoy my life this year. I really pray that it would be benign and if not, that it wont come back! At least the dr said that i am very lucky to have found it so early, (cause i do regular self exams) and that many women don't realize it until its too late!
The worst of all of this was when i phoned on Thursday when i should have had my results, the secretary apologized and said that they know about my case and that they are working on it! I was like... what does that mean??? My case??? Do the secretaries know about everyones case or just my case? Johan said that maybe its just cause i am young that she said that.... whatever it was, it terrified me! Also when they did the ultrasound and the mammogram, different people did it, and each of them had this horror look on their faces and asked me the same questions over about my family history and my age and how long i've been feeling it for. It really scared me, and they also said that its not the right shape for a benign lump and that they will have to look into it.
I guess this was a good thing, cause it really made me think about my life and how i value it. It made me decide to start to enjoy it, and it all just fell into place, so i guess i should thank God! I am not off the hook yet though, so please pray for me for peace and that if it is malignant, that it wont come back over and over again like so many others and that it wont spread after its been cut like so many others.
Thank you so much for your support in my TTC journey. The journey is not over, it has just begun, but I am not going to post about it anymore until next year. I will make one more post after i got my results back after the lump was removed just to keep you updated.
Thank you for your love and support, you are the best!!!
The past 3 years and 9 months made me so tired and stressed out that i felt like i needed some time off. For 3 years and 9 months i had to look at what i eat, cut out on alcohol, not eat sushi at the time of the month when i could be pregnant, and not drink flu medicine if i am sick. Now i feel like i want my body back for a while, and just be. I just want to enjoy the time with Johan while i still have it!
Then, like they were sent from above, friends of ours gave us a huge gift! Nadia works for SAA and organized for us to fly for 20% of the ticket fee for a whole year! She and her husband wants us to travel all over the world with them to 6 destinations this year! Praise God for Nadia and Cobus!!!
Now obviously i cant do that while pregnant, so Johan and I made the best decision since we started to TTC.... We are taking the year off to love each other en enjoy ourselves and see the world! I know it may come as a shock to you after all i posted, but we think its just the right time! We know now we still have time and we are so sick and tired of trying and we are so young, we have to enjoy the time we have! I have given up on having children when i am very young long ago, so now i will just have children when I'm just young :)
I cant describe to you how I feel about this, it feels like i have the weight off my shoulders. Now that i know nothing else is wrong, i don't stress about having children anymore, i KNOW we will have them and hopefully at the right time.
SO, for now i am enjoying life (probably for the first time) and focusing on weight loss for the year, so my body will be ready when we are ready to start trying again in 2012.
So that is that... SURPRISE!!!
A bit of bad news...
I found a lump in my breast about two months ago and gave it two months to see if it would go away. When it didn't go away, i was sent for a breast ultra sound by my Gynecologist. When they did the u/s, they said that i would have to do a mammogram, cause it looked a bit suspicious. They did the mammogram and said that they would have to do a biopsy cause it didn't look good! I was in agony this whole week, cause their machine that does the biopsy broke due to lightning, so i had to wait from Monday to Saturday morning to get my results. My results came out inconclusive, so I am going to have surgery to remove the lump and send it in for some more testing. We will do that when we come back from McGregor after the 23rd.
So, this was all a big shock to me - and also a reason why i made the decision to enjoy my life this year. I really pray that it would be benign and if not, that it wont come back! At least the dr said that i am very lucky to have found it so early, (cause i do regular self exams) and that many women don't realize it until its too late!
The worst of all of this was when i phoned on Thursday when i should have had my results, the secretary apologized and said that they know about my case and that they are working on it! I was like... what does that mean??? My case??? Do the secretaries know about everyones case or just my case? Johan said that maybe its just cause i am young that she said that.... whatever it was, it terrified me! Also when they did the ultrasound and the mammogram, different people did it, and each of them had this horror look on their faces and asked me the same questions over about my family history and my age and how long i've been feeling it for. It really scared me, and they also said that its not the right shape for a benign lump and that they will have to look into it.
I guess this was a good thing, cause it really made me think about my life and how i value it. It made me decide to start to enjoy it, and it all just fell into place, so i guess i should thank God! I am not off the hook yet though, so please pray for me for peace and that if it is malignant, that it wont come back over and over again like so many others and that it wont spread after its been cut like so many others.
Thank you so much for your support in my TTC journey. The journey is not over, it has just begun, but I am not going to post about it anymore until next year. I will make one more post after i got my results back after the lump was removed just to keep you updated.
Thank you for your love and support, you are the best!!!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A Prayer for The Conception of a Child
A friend of mine on a forum for people who struggle to conceive, posted this prayer and i am making it my own prayer for 2011.
A Prayer for The Conception of a Child
Lord, help me to know that You are enough.
Take my eyes off of myself.
Take my eyes off of the child I desire.
Help me to delight myself in You.
Mold the desires of my heart to be in line with Your will.
I don't want to need to be a mother more than I need to be your humble, obedient child.
I don't want wanting to have a baby to be a stumbling block between You and me anymore.
Lord, I want to give this desire, this drive, this ache up to You.
Help me not to snatch it back as I so often do with the burdens I place in Your hands.
Help me to be truly content with Your will and Your timing.
Lord, You know that I still desire a baby - someone to mold, teach, train, shape, guide, and help to grow in You.
But until the day You give me that joyous blessing, help me to grow in You.
Let me reach out to those around me.
Let me witness and minister to the children You place in my path.
Lord, if adoption is the path You would have us take, prepare our hearts, and prepare the child who will share our home.
If adoption is not Your will for our lives, keep me from pushing ahead of Your plan.
Help me to stay submitted to my husband's will, and to Your will.
If we are headed in the wrong direction, change our hearts.
Thank You for lifting my burden.
Help me to keep You first! Let me seek Your face daily, and let me know that You are enough!
Amen!
Thank you for all your messages on my bfn. May you all be blessed in 2011!
A Prayer for The Conception of a Child
Lord, help me to know that You are enough.
Take my eyes off of myself.
Take my eyes off of the child I desire.
Help me to delight myself in You.
Mold the desires of my heart to be in line with Your will.
I don't want to need to be a mother more than I need to be your humble, obedient child.
I don't want wanting to have a baby to be a stumbling block between You and me anymore.
Lord, I want to give this desire, this drive, this ache up to You.
Help me not to snatch it back as I so often do with the burdens I place in Your hands.
Help me to be truly content with Your will and Your timing.
Lord, You know that I still desire a baby - someone to mold, teach, train, shape, guide, and help to grow in You.
But until the day You give me that joyous blessing, help me to grow in You.
Let me reach out to those around me.
Let me witness and minister to the children You place in my path.
Lord, if adoption is the path You would have us take, prepare our hearts, and prepare the child who will share our home.
If adoption is not Your will for our lives, keep me from pushing ahead of Your plan.
Help me to stay submitted to my husband's will, and to Your will.
If we are headed in the wrong direction, change our hearts.
Thank You for lifting my burden.
Help me to keep You first! Let me seek Your face daily, and let me know that You are enough!
Amen!
Thank you for all your messages on my bfn. May you all be blessed in 2011!
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